Eighteenth of May, Twenty Twenty Two

I decided to start this site after a lackluster "Temple" discussion at The Satanic Estate. The topic was "Undercover Satan," and while I hoped for a little more organization & information, it was another panel where a bunch of (mostly) yt-folks talked about how they have to hide their identity in public for fear of retaliation.

Normally, I'd sigh, log-off, and move on with my life... but this came just days after the shooting in Buffalo, NY which killed 10 and injured 3 others; 11 of which were Black, and the neighborhood is predominitly Black. The shooter posted a racist manifesto online and streamed the whole thing on Twitch. The motive is clear, there's no debate about it. And it's been all over news and social channels ever since! So the audacity of these shallow Satanists to be whining about their own shit instead of addressing real injustice pissed me off.

We (yt-folks) have the ability to hide our beliefs, conform by choosing how we dress, and tone down almost all our detectable differences. We can blend in and slip by undetected.

But the people targeted in Buffalo were unable to do that; they couldn't just turn off their Blackness. They can code-switch, dress "right," and straighten their hair all in an attempt to just live their lives, but still get killed for being different than someone else.

And while I count myself among their members, I'm ashamed that The Satanic Temple hasn't said anything in the aftermath. Their twitter, facebook, and instagram feeds are all about on-going court cases and TST campaigns (e.g.: Roe v. Wade; the Haven, KS "in god we trust" decals on cop cars; and After-School Satan programming). You'd think they would learn, especially after the backlash following their awkward silence and delayed, half-assed response to George Floyd's murder.

But here they are, yet again, letting silence make TST (and it's members) complicit in a clearly racist act.

Alone in the Crowd

Maybe it's due to the autism, and its over-developed sense of justice, but I'm tired of feeling alone in a crowd that supposedly holds my same beliefs. Why aren't others speaking out about their silence? Why did no one in the chat ask harder questions of the panel? And why is the discourse amoung Satanists so shallow and surface-level all the time?

It honestly feels like a bunch of high-school goths never grew up and use the TST as a way to relive their glory days. I wanted to join my local congregation, but my city/state doesn't have an official group. And when I looked into the unofficial one, I found it sorely lacking; their purpose, to put it bluntly, was to become an official TST congregation. To do that, they needed to meet certain participation quotas, do some public good, and show up in the real world in some way/shape/form. I quickly got frustrated by the chaotic Zoom calls and unprofessional demenor from their leadership.

Most members treated calls like a group therapy session. Others used it as a place to be edgy and "cool." But when it came to actual events, the only stuff that materialized were excuses to drink. Anything that aligned with my interests was either constantly delayed or canceled due to lack of attendance.

Of course, it didn't help they were super yt and super boring.

I let my frustration turn me away from Satanism for a few months, instead focusing on other interests and hobbies. But I keep find myself coming back. So, I'm gonna do it my way this time, instead of trying to fit in somewhere else.

Charting a New Journey

This site, is named for what it is to me: it's my personal satanic quest made public for any who want to follow along. I'm tired of all satanic imagery being from metal and goth cultures. I'm bored of their all-Black outfits and cloaks. I'm sick of being surrounded by yt-folks with nothing to talk about but themselves.

My goal here is to find others who want to participate in a Satanism that doesn't look like the norm. One that shares the TST's values and fundamental tenets, but dumps all its tropes in the trash.

Your immediate question is probably: then why is the site design red, Black, and demonic?

My response: we have to start somewhere.

Metztli // filled with purpose